hmm today was an interesting day! two best friends, two ex boyfriends two people i used to love……. one that I’ve missed terrible, who u couldn’t get in touched with since i changed my number ! i cat believe that he looks exactly the same as he did the last time i saw him. actually no i lied, he looks so much healthier then he did when i last saw him. it was so good just being in his presence today just sitting and talking catching up on what we have missed in each others lives withing the past year that we haven’t had contact. the one thing that i am absolutely surprised about is that hes still with the girl Jenna…… ? but as long as he happy right ? whatever not my business not my problem right ? as far as the other one goes….. i dont even know man the other day hes talking to me about being on a dating website and im sitting here thinking like bro what are you doing? you have a girl who does and always will love you one hundred percent whole hearted right in front of you and you still continue to search the world and get frustrated when you cant seem to find someone to love you. whatever. hes crazy. i am so so so so tired. im up at work, dont get off until 4 and the i have to wake up and be ready by 10 and then i have a full day i have an hour left of work and i dont think i can make it to be honest . i went all over the world today. i had training wet to walmart, hung out with frankie, made a bulletin board, then went to a banquet, immediately after the banquet then i ended up running to the mall with meg and rasida and picking up two pairs of jeans, two belts but im returning one of them, and a watch thats white and rose gold! its so nice im literally just writing to keep myself awake at this point to be honest. but i think im done for now! kay bye
58 mins until i can sleep
Photo reblogged from
"Let’s go to Tomorrowland" font by me.
Original photo post from pluravedm.tumblr.com
Life has knocked me down a few times, it showed me things I never wanted to see. I experienced extreme sadness and
failures. But one thing for sure, I ALWAYS GET UP.
ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY, the last birthday we spent together was July 25, 2007. I remember it clearly. You were in stony brook hospital and me and dad met up to come see you. We brought flowers or a balloon im not sure which one but it said happy birthday on it. That day you were awake and alert and talking and happy. Two days later we came back up and the first thing you said when we walked in was “WHY DIDN’T YOU COME SEE ME ON MY BIRTHDAY” ill never forget how mad you were. I just remember saying mom we were here, look we brought you these on your birthday and you just wouldn’t believe us. I swear if I could just have that one day every year on your birthday to be able to walk into stony brook hospital, get my visitors pass, get on the elevator to the 19th floor and walk through the door and kiss you on the forehead like I always did that would be more than enough for me. I just want to be able to breathe the same air as you is that too much to ask for ? The words I miss you don’t even come close to explaining anything. The night before senior prom I called sammie and I cried harder than id ever cried before. I chose my prom dress without you, my friends mom had to lace my corset because you weren’t here and couldn’t do it. Graduation was another one of those really tough days where your absence cant be ignored. Move in for college, my ceremony’s, programs, everything that ive been doing, I know your right there with me but itll never be the same. My tattoo is something ill never regret because all it does is represents you. Im just so blah now, you would think that I would have a hard shell but I don’t. many people who have been thought it do. But this is what I get from you. You raised me to love and be caring and soft not cold mean and heartless. everyday just seems like a regular day no matter who’s birthday, or what holiday. its just not the same and it hasn’t been.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I LOVE YOU REST IN PARADISE
Today I woke up didn’t really do anything, then out of nowhere, mid-day something just came over me and I was filled with rage for about five hours, where everything and everyone was making it worse. Another birthday is here. I’m at a loss for words this year. Usually I can just write and then I begin to write the same things over and over again. Sometimes I don’t even realize that you’re gone because I keep myself so busy, but when I’m home and have down time is when I feel your absence the most. I cant believe that its been so long. The last birthday we celebrated together I just turned 13, I just turned 19… six years in November. You know that old saying “time flies when your having fun” yeah its defiantly true, but time flies when you don’t pay attention to it and take them for granted. I barely paid attention to the first 13 years of my life and I can barely remember them. Probably because a lot of what happened during those years are memories that I have subconsciously repressed.
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